In this day of gender equality, there are few lines drawn to differentiate between men and women. The glass ceiling is fast becoming a myth. You are as likely to see a househusband as a housewife. Power suits are no longer for men only.
However, there is one thing that men must cling to in order to maintain their masculinity. The line in the sand must be drawn on this thing and we men must never back down. If we ever lose control of this one thing then all will be lost and chaos will rule. We may as well shoot ourselves, because being a man as we know it will never be the same.
We must never lose control of the TV remote control – otherwise known as the “clicker”
In every household someone must be in control of the clicker or anarchy will reign. This control is bred into man’s instincts and therefore must bear the burden of clicker control.
One person might say, “I want to watch ‘Wheel of Fortune,’” and another might say, “I want to watch ‘Trading Spaces’” and another, “I want to watch WFF Wrestling” And what will happen? Everybody will go for the clicker, and domestic violence will erupt and someone will get hurt.
Don’t think it can happen?
A man and his wife and their two children sat down to watch an evening’s television in Oklahoma. All four wanted to see a different program, the man of the family did not have an ironfisted control of the clicker. So they all dived at it at once. The man suffered severe scratches from his wife’s fingernails, and she was bitten on the ankles by one of the children, who got poked in the eye during the fracas. The other child got the clicker and ran outside and as he was being chased by the rest of the family was hit head-on by a jogger. All five were treated and released at a local hospital.
As a man with the control of the clicker, you can watch two baseball games, the beginning of CSI to see what the show is about, James Bond on HBO, the TV listing to schedule what is coming on in thirty minutes, the commercial where the plane pilot jumps out of the aircraft for a six pack, catch the fourth, fifth and sixth replay of the crash in the Daytona 500, and back to CSI to see how the case was solved. Give a woman the control and you’ll have to sit there and watch for thirty minutes on how to use a glue gun to make jewelry out of a discarded egg carton.
Men, I hope you get my point. Never give up the clicker – never. Do so only in the throes of a warrior’s honorable defeat in battle, with clicker is still in the hand.
As a samurai would say, “It would be a good death.”
The worst part is, the woman making jewelry with an egg crate and glue gun, would complain that the husband never buys her jewelry (yet go on for hours making junk that she’ll never wear!)
I am the Master of My Remote at home… NOBODY takes it away from me.. (though, they have tried)